To day I was reading a novel and suddenly I remembered something that happened to me when I was like ten . I was sitting on the table in my year seven class , I was alone . I felt so incredibly miserable . I had such a sad face , I almost wanted to cry . I was looking around me and I could see everyone in class was talking, except talking to me , everyone had a friend . I remember thinking ‘I am not someone to be liked’ . I had such low self esteem . I had low self worth .

 The teacher came up to me and said ‘what is the matter , amal you look SO miserable and sad ‘ , My only reply was ‘ I’m ok’ . Truth be told I wanted to burst out crying . Wherever you put me , whichever class you put me in , no one seemed to like me , I was always the kid that was picked on . At first I thought maybe it is my looks , so I had this notion in my head that I am ugly that is why no one likes me .

I realized much later in life it has nothing to do with the way I looked . I was just a very insecure , annoying little girl . Even when I did not say much people still picked on me . So I spent my school years being ‘quite’ , so I would go unoticed . It was a way of protecting myself . I remember how I used to badly want to fit in to the popular crowd , but the popular crowd did not want me .

 I just did not fit anywhere , even if I was with the Iraqi girls at my iraqi saturday school , they used to pick and bully me to their . I was just someone seen as an easy target , till this day I am baffled by it as to why that was . Now as an adult I make friends easily , people visit me . I have a well established strong personality , It was islam that changed me nothing else . Islam changed me from the low self esteem , loser I was back then into the person I am today . That is not to say I do not have my ‘low self esteem moments’ or my attack of remembering my painful childhood memory’s that sometimes just catch up with me . Sometimes they seem so unreal .