Benevolence

Just my thoughts

love

March 16, 2008 at 2:27 pm · Filed under feelings, my personality, poetry and tagged:

We attach ourselves to our lovers

yet they don’t belong to us

we lose ourselves when they wrong us

instead we should have turned to Allah

for he is a lover that will never let us down

love

but love with detachment

love

but love knowing maybe one day they may leave

love

but know that Allah may choose to take his soul before yours

love

but love Allah the most

he will never let you down ….

I had to understand this through a lot of pain , I do not love my husband and I really don’t like him anymore . The day I get my divorce will be a celebration for me . I realize how much I desire love , how much I want to love . I do not want to love in fear nor do I want to love in attachment . I want to love but be free. Freedom is sweet . I have tasted it and never want to go back . I realize love that will never betray you or hurt you , is the love  of god . God will never let you down , as long as you stay true to him . He will continue to shower you with his love . Every other type of love you will feel will always come secondary , the thing that you achieve through is freedom , spiritual freedom . It is the most amazing feeling in the world .

5 Comments »

  sara wrote @ March 17, 2008 at 6:51 am

i’m so sorry to know of your ngoing pain deary..

But Allah is always there & He Knows it all..

*love you*

Reply
  Maryam wrote @ March 17, 2008 at 3:42 pm

Dear Amal,

As always, The poem is really beautiful. I appreciate the way you jot down your feelings, which is very important for every human out here. Everything shall be fine sweety, Have faith in Allah, for he never dissappoints his believers.

If divorce is what makes you free and happy, If that is what Allah has decided for you, then you shall INSHALLAH be happy, and will have no regrets atall.
Take care Amal, Anytime you need me, you know how and where to find me … :-)

Reply
  admin wrote @ March 26, 2008 at 12:40 am

assalamualaikum amal,

may ALLAH make everything easy for you..ameen

Reply
  notjustskindeep wrote @ May 30, 2008 at 5:41 pm

*hugs*

amal, i can really relate with your childhood experiences.

i guess that just goes to show that loving ourselves is so important. when we love ourselves, our personalities are stronger and people gravitate towards us. it’s a human tendency to reach for the sun. in other words, we tend to want to hang around the bright, optimistic and cheerful. don’t you think so?

i was like you – an insecure kid. even today, i can’t say i am extremely confident. but i’ve learnt to recognize some of my strengths and pride myself for them. and because of that i guess i’ve become way more sociable and outgoing. i think you can relate with that. :)

still, in romantic relationships, i suffer intensely because deep inside some insecurities remain especially about my own sexuality. and this wrecks havoc in my relationships.

so i’ve truly learnt that before we can expect others to love us, we have to love ourselves.

yet, it’s so hard to really do it, ain’t it?

Reply
  benevolence85 wrote @ May 30, 2008 at 8:05 pm

yes it is , but it takes will power and strength how much do you want it ? So i WANT it really badly , so thats why I carry on , also my faith keeps me strong ..

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